Pondering Galaxies
by Essessency
Summary: Four months... It had been that long since they all headed their separate ways. When Riley and Farkle can't contact Lucas and Maya, they set off to find the truth. But is it a truth that they can all come to terms with? What is Maya hiding? And how is Lucas involved? Time can change people. Riarkle. Lucaya. Future fic. Slightly AU.
1. Chapter 1: The Beginning

_**Meet me where the sky touches the sea…**_

 **x.x**

She walks on the docks. It is a chilly December night. It was the kind of chilly where frost would glaze over windows, where every breath was visible, and where love was shown in its truest form.

The lights of Manhattan were blurry to her. Why was she even tearing up? There was nothing bothering her. She was Riley Matthews.. Always smiling… always optimistic…

Always giving people the benefit of the doubt.

The city was behind her as she continued strolling on the docks. The harbor was nearby and all the boats were returning. It was dusk. The lights of the city took place of the sun. The moon was above, just barely noticeable, and the stars were faded. The sun was barely there, slipping behind the horizon. Its last rays were peeking and glimmering onto the Atlantic. The night was taking over.

The stop walking to marvel at it. She stayed still, on the middle of the dock, waiting for the sun to disappear, and wishing that it would find it's way back.

She was still in New York. The world was hers, but she hadn't broken any boundaries. She was nineteen now, attending NYU to major in teaching and minor in counseling. She also joined many clubs and dedicated her time to preach about women's rights and to make others smile. This is what she grew up doing. It was her destiny.

But somehow, she wasn't completely happy.

Maya was across the country, attending California's School for the Arts in San Francisco. The two kept in touch. They would talk everyday. They had spent their whole lives together, but Riley wasn't going to let the future drive them apart, and neither was Maya. Maya was an amazing artist. It's what made her happy and made her unique. And last year, after they all had graduated, Maya had gotten a full scholarship. Maya told Riley that she was scared, and that she didn't want to go anywhere without Riley. But Riley, being the person she is, encouraged Maya. Nothing would ever break their friendship. This is what they were destined for.

Lucas went to college as well, but he went back home to Texas. He was in a program that could get him involved with major league baseball. He and Riley were together for a while, but she just didn't feel right. She loved Lucas, and she knew that. But their friendship was something that Riley didn't want to lose. She wasn't sure how he was doing these days. It had been a couple of months since they last spoke. Zay followed in a similar path. They went to the same school. They took care of each other. Riley and Maya wanted to visit Texas sometime during winter break so they all could get together.

Farkle was the only one who remained somewhat close. He went to Harvard, which didn't surprise any of them. He wanted to be an astronomer. Everyone always knew his fascination for the night sky, and now he was reaching for the stars. He was reaching for Pluto…

He and Smackle broke up Junior Year. Nobody really knew why. Farkle said that Smackle had different plans for her future, and as much as they had in common, their plans were really very different. Riley wasn't sure if that was the true reason. Farkle was always an observer. He was a genius. He was keeping something to himself, and no one was sure of what it was.

Her mom and dad hadn't moved on, even if she had. Now Auggie was in middle school. Now, the world was his, and Cory was teaching a new generation. Topanga still owned the bakery, and Riley always visited after class. They had so many fond memories, and some not so fond.

She was so caught up in her own thoughts, that she didn't hear the soft footsteps behind her. It wasn't until the voice echoed that she reacted.

"Riley… It's been too long…"

She took in a shaky breath, recognizing the voice. It was deeper than she remembered, but it's only been a few months. She turned around to see him. He was even taller than he was this past summer. He filled out a little more too. But his style was the same, along with his bright blue eyes, and tousled brown hair, and that cute little smile.

She didn't even realized that she was running toward him until she found herself in his arms. He wasn't too much taller than her. Just enough that she could comfortably rest her chin in the crook of his neck. She squeezed him tight, tears filling her eyes. She didn't even realize that she missed him this much. He close his eyes and held her tighter, tight enough that she thought he could feel his own heartbeat. The sensation only lasted a minute as she pulled away, looking deep into his eyes.

"Farkle…" Her eyes gleamed with wonder and she wore that joyful smile that was so her. "What are you doing here? I haven't seen you since…" She lost her voice, playing back the last night that they were all together.

 **x.x**

" _So… this is it then…" Maya sat in the middle of the bay window, Lucas and Zay on one side of her and Riley and Farkle on the other. They were all lost in their own thoughts. Lucas and Zay would be leaving tomorrow morning. Maya and Farkle would be leaving the day after. This was the last time that they may all be together in one place._

" _Yeah…" Lucas sighed. "I guess it is… It's weird. We all thought that graduating middle school would be the end of the world. That was nothing compared to where we are headed now."_

 _Riley smiled slightly at her friends. "This is good."_

" _Huh?" Maya looked confused at her friend's sudden comment. "What do you mean? You think that it's best for us to all be going separate directions." She stood up. "This is like starting over, Riley. I don't want to be thousands of miles away from everything I know." She took a deep breath, her eyes glazed over."_

 _Riley stood up and looked her best friend in the eyes. "This is what's best, Maya. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity, and I'd be a fool for holding you back from it." Riley glanced over to the boys and back to Maya, her voice softening. "This is just us… choosing what we want in life. This is us taking on the world, a much bigger world."_

 _Maya's stare didn't waver. "For as long as I've known you, Riley… it's always been the two of us. It's always been us, taking on the world together. How am I supposed to do it without you?"_

 _Riley smiled again, tears running down both of their faces now. "You won't be."_

 _Lucas stood up, putting his arms around the girls. "None of us are doing this alone. Even if we aren't physically together, we will always have each other's backs."_

 _Farkle and Zay stood up as well, joining the group. "This is only the beginning." Farkle said. "We are going to find out who we are in this world. We are ready to accept the biggest challenges and face them."_

 _Zay smiled. "And you know that we will all keep in touch. And we will all be here for each other."_

 _Maya nodded and looked at all of her friends, looking just as scared and unprepared as she felt. "Thank you. Thank you all. I'm going to miss you."_

 _Lucas rubbed her back. "We'll miss you too. Let's plan to get together soon."_

 _Farkle nodded. "I'll be there."_

" _So will I." Riley said._

 _Maya looked at her best friend, holding her hand. "And I go wherever she goes…"_

 **x.x**

Riley was so lost in the memory that she didn't even think before she spoke. "I miss them…"

Farkle gave her a knowing glance. "Me too."

"It's been four months…" Riley looked down at her snow boots, to avoid showing tears. "Four months and no contact… not even from Maya…"

But Farkle knew her better than that, and he took her hand as they started walking away from the dock and back toward the city.

"W-what are you doing?" She asked as he continued to drag her toward the city.

"I'm assuming that you're on winter break too." He started.

"And?"

He turned around to look at her. "I haven't seen them either, Riley. I've tried calling, texting, and messaging, but you're the only one who answers. I came here to find you."

"Why?"

"Because I knew that if I found you, I would be closer to finding them." They crossed the street and went down a flight of stairs. She soon find herself in a parking garage, concerned and confused.

"Farkle…" She started, looking around her.

He walked over to a shiny black Ferrari, pulling out his keys and unlocking the doors. He opened the passenger's side door for her. "Get in the car."

"No." She replied stubbornly, resting her hands on her hips. "I want an explanation first."

"You will get it as soon as you get into the car."

She sighed and climbed in, plopping into the seat and fastening the seatbelt. She turned towards him as he started the ignition. "So, what happens now?"

He gave her a small smile. "We take on the world."

 **x.x**

 **Hello there! I am Essessency, and I am a writer for the Austin & Ally fandom. I've just recently gotten into GMW, and this is my first fanfiction for that fandom. **

**I know a decent amount about this show and its characters, however, I am not an expert. So if I get anything wrong about the characterization or plot, I'm sorry.**

 **This is a future fic. It is set when the characters are in their first year of college. It is slightly AU because we don't know what will happen in the future. The plot of this is that Riley and Farkle haven't heard from their friends since they left, which is unlike them. So, Riley and Farkle are on their way to Texas and California to find Lucas and Maya. What will happen along the way? Well, we will just have to wait and see. It will be four chapters and the general ships will be Riarkle and Lucaya.**

 **If you have any suggestions on what you would like to see happen, please tell me. I love ideas. Please review and let me know if I should continue this story.**

 **Thank you.**

 **-Essessency**


	2. Chapter 2: Lightyears Away

_**It's hard to forget someone who gave you so much to remember…**_

 **x.x**

Maya Hart sat in the corner of the room, not wanting to be noticed.

But then again, there was no one there to notice her.

She had left for California, a place for dreams and success. A place very similar but so vastly different from New York. She wanted to be back in her world more than anything. Riley was the one who pushed her to follow her dreams. She appreciated what her best friend wanted to do for her, but she had to have known that this would happen sooner or later.

Hope wasn't in her vocabulary. It never was, even if Riley tried to give it to her. But now, she couldn't just climb into Riley's room and sit at the bay window and expect her to fix everything. Riley was across the country. She couldn't even imagine how Riley was feeling. Maya just stopped talking to her one day. She cut Riley off. She abandoned their friendship.

More than anything, Maya wanted to apologize and have Riley forgive her. But the damage was done. Maya was in a really bad place, and now Riley wasn't there for her. She was too ashamed to let anyone know what really happened. Only Lucas knew the truth, and he knew he had to stop talking to Riley and Farkle too.

Maya sat with her legs crossed, staring at the concrete walls. It was like she was staring at a blank canvas, but the only picture that she was painting were images of Riley in her mind. The look in her eyes when she helped people. Her wide toothy smile and sweet optimism. Their last hug four months ago, before she boarded her plane.

Her last text to Maya.

 _Sweet dreams, Peaches._

All so long ago.

Not being able to stay still, Maya abruptly stood and crossed over to her bed, where she kept only two possessions under her pillow. She sat down and pulled them out gently from the rugged pillowcase. She held on to them firmly, scared that she would lose them. However, she handled it with a gentleness, not wanting to ruin it.

The first was a picture. But not just any. It was everyone. Everyone she had ever loved. Her mom, Shawn, Cory, Topanga, Lucas, Zay, Farkle, Smackle, Josh, Auggie…

And Riley.

Tears flooded her eyes as she took a shaky breath to push them back. She held up the next item to the light.

Ring power.

She wondered if Riley still had hers, if it had even mattered to her the same as Maya's did. The ring reflected sparkles on the wall, and for a moment, Maya could swear that she felt hope.

Maybe Riley would forgive her?

Maybe she's out looking for her? Because it was unlike Maya to just cut off contact.

These were things that Riley would do.

But time changes people.

 **x.x**

"I can't believe this!" Topanga scolded over the phone. She had always been the firmer of the two parents and Riley had to hold the phone away as her mother continued to rant.

"Why didn't you tell us before? You can't just run off to go halfway across the country! Riley, it's dangerous out there. Have you even thought about the possible obstacles you could encounter? Did you even prepare for this?!"

Riley sighed, feeling a pang of guilt. "I know mom.. I'm sorry. But, I'm growing up and you need to trust me on this."

"It's not that I don't trust you." Topanga stated. "And I realize that you are on winter break, but this is a big risk. This world is huge, Riley. Are you sure you are ready to take it on by yourself?"

Farkle leaned closer to the phone, not taking his eyes off of the road. "Mrs. Matthews, it's okay. Don't be mad at Riley. It was my idea."

On the other line, Topanga paused. "Farkle? Is that you?

Cory walked into the room, seeing his wife on the phone while wearing a confused and worried expression. He sat down next to her and Topanga looked over, deciding to put them on speaker.

"Yes. This was my idea. Riley and I haven't heard from Maya or Lucas since August. We've tried to contact them but Maya's phone is disconnected and she is inactive on social media. And Lucas, he's just been ignoring us. This isn't like them. I have a feeling that they may be in danger."

Cory leaned over. "So, where are you guys?"

"We just crossed over into Pennsylvania, sir. Riley and I are going to Texas to find Lucas and then to California to find Maya."

Cory's eyes widened. "Wait a minute, you mean to tell me that you took my daughter and you are traveling cross country with no preparation and no permission from any parental figure?"

Riley sighed. "Dad, it's okay. I need you and mom to trust me on this. This is Maya we are talking about, you know I would do anything for her, even travel across the country to find her…"

Cory and Topanga were both silent on the other end, unsure of what to say. Riley took advantage of the hesitation.

"I'm growing up… I'm not the same twelve year old girl who felt that freedom was taking the subway to school… Now, freedom means something more. I'm nineteen now. I'm in college and this is my world now. I know that you're trying to protect me, but I need you to trust that I will be okay."

After a couple seconds of stunned silence, Cory spoke. "Riley, your whole life has been me preparing you for things like this. I just need to know that you will be okay. This is a big world…"

"She'll be okay." Farkle answered. "I promise I'll take care of her, sir."

Cory smiled. "You've never let me down before, Farkle. Please be safe and take care of each other. And Riley?"

"Yes?"

Cory looked over at Topanga, who was cuddled into his side. She said, "Give Maya big hugs from us when you get there."

Riley smiled. "Thank you, mom. I will."

"And you better keep in contact." Topanga said. "I still have some control over you, you know."

"I promise I will."

"Alright then." Cory sighed. "Be safe out there, and call us if you need anything."

"Don't worry." Farkle answered. "I've got it covered."

"I'm sure you do." Cory replied. "Just be safe, and enjoy yourselves. Maybe you'll learn something on this trip that you didn't know before."

Riley was slightly confused. "What do you mean by that, dad?"

"Just go do what you have to do, you'll find out soon enough."

 **x.x**

Not long later, Farkle and Riley found themselves arriving in Philadelphia. Riley felt a smile come to her face. She was quite familiar with the area, considering it was her father and mother's hometown and they went to visit often when she was younger.

They were in an older part of town. The historic city was beautifully decorated for the holidays. Old buildings were donned with lights and wreaths hung on the street lamps. Riley assumed that this was the original Main Street, judging by the brick streets and old fashioned architecture. By now, it was nearly ten thirty. Besides the Christmas lights and street lamps, most everything was shut down. However, the snow was falling very lightly from the bare branches, and that gave Riley an odd sense of comfort.

" _Have you ever tried to taste the snow?"_

Riley focused so heavily on the falling flakes, which were starting to grow. She could almost replay a memory her in mind.

" _What do you mean?" An eight year old Maya asked. They were all bundled up and taking a walk in Central Park. Topanga would always take them out during the Christmas season, but Auggie was only a year old, and she stayed home with him. This left Cory to take on the tradition. The girls sat together on a bench, while Cory walked over to a local vendor to get them hot chocolate._

" _Have you ever tasted the snow?" Riley asked again._

 _Maya looked at her strangely. "Why would I do that? Who knows where it's been?"_

" _I meant from the sky." Riley said._

 _Maya looked down, avoiding the question and holding Riley's ice skates close. "You're lucky, you know." She spoke, changing the subject._

" _Why?"_

 _Maya fiddled with the laces. "This is going to be my first time ice skating. You have your own pair of skates already. Your family takes you out every year and you actually… you actually spend time together. I don't have a family like that." Maya stared down at her worn out boots, clicking her heels together._

" _Why do you do that?" Riley asked suddenly._

 _Maya looked up. "Do what?"_

" _Click your heels together like that." Riley said. "You look like Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz movie when she tries to go home."_

 _Maya gave her a sad glance. "Maybe that's just it, Riles. Maybe I wish I can go home… but I can't…" She looked at her shoes again, barely speaking in a whisper. "Because I don't have a true home to go to…"_

 _Without hesitation, Riley wrapped her best friend in a side hug. "But Peaches, you do have a home. Your home is with us. And it will be from now on."_

 _Maya looked up, smiling slightly. "Thank you, Riley."_

 _Riley just kept hugging her, closing her eyes and enjoying the comfort. That was until a cold drop of feathery snow melted on her nose. "Hey!" She looked up to see a light snow falling between the branches. "It's happening! Come on, Maya! Do it with me!" Riley stuck out her tongue, and closed her eyes, feeling the cold snow hit her tongue._

" _You look silly." Maya chuckled._

 _Riley smiled. "Then look silly with me."_

 _Maya rolled her eyes, "Whatever you want." She too, stuck out her tongue. The cold snow felt so refreshing and though it was freezing out, Maya felt warm._

" _Now you can officially say that you've tasted snow!" Riley giggled._

" _Alright girls!" Cory walked over, carrying two small foam cups of hot chocolate. He sat down on the bench and handed it to their tiny gloved hands. "Be careful now." He warned._

" _Thank you, dad." Riley said._

 _Maya nodded, "Yeah… thank you…"_

" _You're very welcome." Cory said. "Let me know when you guys are finished. The ice rink gets very crowded this time of year."_

" _But let's not rush, okay?" Riley suggested, resting her head on Maya's shoulder. "I want to enjoy this."_

 _And so they did. The park was crowded, but on that bench, they were all cuddled up. They watched the peaceful snow, heard jingle bells and carollers, and tasted a delicious cup of hot chocolate._

 _And that year, Maya was given a brand new pair of boots and a pair of ice skates._

"Riley? Riley, are you okay?"

She heard Farkle's far away voice and turned to look at him. He looked at her with worry in his eyes.

"What?" She asked. "What are you staring at?"

He reached into his glove compartment to pull out a couple of tissues. He reached over and wiped off her cheeks, which she just now felt were wet with tears.

"Oh…" She realized and blushed. "Thanks Farkle." She took the tissues from him and continued dabbing at her watery eyes.

"You miss her." Farkle explained. "You saw the snow and it brought you to a memory. It must have been very precious to you, because it evoked an immediate reaction."

She looked at him with wide eyes, wondering how he possibly knew what she was thinking. "How is it that you can sometimes read my mind? Are you really that much of a genius?"

He smiled slightly, "No Riley, I'm your friend. What kind of friend would I be if I didn't notice these things?"

She blushed slightly, feeling loss at words. She looked outside again. They were parked on the side of the road, the snow was very thick but still falling slowly. Riley couldn't help but feel like she was in a snowglobe. "Farkle… have you ever tasted the snow?"

"Can't say that I have." He answered. "Not because it's childish or anything. Simply because snow evaporates like water. It falls from the sky, gathers on the ground, melts, and the water vapor travels to turn into cloud, and then it just repeats the cycle."

"So you think that the snow is dirty?" Riley asked.

Farkle shrugged. "Snow is like anything else in life, Riley. We don't know where it's been."

She nodded, taking his words into consideration. "Speaking of, where are we?"

He turned off the car and climbed out. He walked over to her side, opening the door for her and holding out his hand. She gladly look it and stepped out. They were close to downtown, but one block down were the older neighborhoods. Farkle opened the trunk and pulled out their luggage. Riley was glad that Farkle had stopped by her apartment so she could pack all that she would need. She was also glad that her parents weren't home when she did so, otherwise she might have not been able to do this.

Farkle handed her the suitcase and closed the trunk, locking up his car. "Alright, follow me."

"Okay…" Riley felt a little unsure but she was the one who got into the car with Farkle in the first place. She knew she could trust him.

After a short walk down the sidewalk, they arrived at their destination. Riley stood in front of an older house. It was two stories and it was yellow with white trimming. They had golden lights covering the house and a wreath and red bow rested on the white door. The front yard had large oak trees, which of course were bare. A small white picket fence surrounded the property. The large house had a few lights on, signifying that someone was awake.

"Farkle…" She looked at the house, marveled by its charm and beauty. "Where are we?"

Farkle opened the fence and they walked in. He stood in front of a sign that was completely covered with snow. He leaned up to brush it away, revealing the location.

 _ **Owen's Family Bed & Breakfast**_

 _ **Est. 1956**_

 _ **Everyone Welcome!**_

"You're taking me to a bed and breakfast?" Riley looked over at him and he smiled.

"Well yeah, it's the middle of the night. Where did you think we were going to stay? I made the reservations when we stopped by your house. I know this is hard for you, and I thought, if anywhere, you should spend the night somewhere that feels like home."

She jumped into his arms, catching him off guard. "Thank you so much…" She hugged him tight.

He chuckled at her giddiness and hugged her back. "Anything for you, Riley. Now let's get inside."

They climbed the stairs and knocked on the door. An elderly woman, maybe in her eighties, answered the door and smiled. "Farkle! I was wondering when you would show up!"

He smiled back and hugged her. "Hello, Nancy. It's been too long."

Riley looked back and forth. "You know each other?"

Farkle looked at her. "Farkle knows everyone." He took her suitcase and brought it inside with his own. Riley was still in shock from everything that was going on.

Nancy, the owner of the bed and breakfast, was a sweet lady. She was a shorter woman, with grayish white short hair and glasses. Riley thought to herself that she looked like she could be Mrs. Claus. "It's so nice to meet you Riley." She smiled. "Farkle has talked a lot about you." She held out her hand. "I'm an old friend of theirs."

"Okay." Riley said sweetly and shook her hand. "It's very nice to meet you. Thank you for welcoming us."

"You are always welcome." She said. "Let me lead you to your room." They headed a set of stairs in the middle of the room and headed to a large upstairs. "My place has four different bedrooms, not including my own. "We also have a television and a couch up here in case you want to relax. Farkle told me to assign you the Bay room."

"The Bay Room?"

Nancy lead her over to an open door, which lead into a large bedroom. It had a cozy queen sized bed with a canopy. It also had a personal bathroom. But all Riley could notice, was the large bay window in the corner of the room.

"Pretty isn't it?" Farkle said from behind her, startling Riley. "It's the best bed and breakfast in Philadelphia."

Riley nodded, unable to stop looking around.

"Well," Nancy said. "You two are our last guests to arrive. I must get to bed. Lee and I have to be up bright and early to prepare breakfast."

"Alright." Farkle said. "Goodnight, Nancy. Thank you for everything."

Riley walked over and sat on the soft pillows of this bay window. "Yeah… thank you…"

Nancy gave Farkle a soft smile and left the room. Riley was stuck to the view outside, looking at the lightly dimmed streets below.

"Riley, I'll see you in the morning okay?" Farkle said. "If you need anything, I'll be right next door."

She looked over at him and nodded. "Okay… thank you…"

He nodded and closed the door, leaving Riley to herself.

She looked outside once again, feeling somewhat complete yet somewhat empty. And just like the last four months, she was alone at the bay window.

 **x.x**

Lucas Friar sat in his bed, throwing and catching a stress ball. No matter what he tried to do to keep himself occupied, nothing seemed to calm his nerves. Texas State University was also on winter break, but he didn't know what to do. He was scared to go see Maya, and he tried everything to avoid seeing Farkle, Riley, and even Zay.

But that didn't work out too well.

There was a knock on the door, to which Lucas answered. "Nobody's home!"

"I'm not stupid, man. Open up this door!"

Lucas's eyes widened as he heard the familiar voice of his best friend, Zay. He took a deep breath, knowing this was inevitable. He got up and opened the door, letting Zay in.

"Are you serious?!" Zay stormed in. "I know that we are in different dorm buildings and we only see each other on the field, but you could at least make an effort to see me once in awhile."

Lucas sighed. "You don't get it. This is complicated."

Zay crossed his arms. "I've been in contact with Riley and Farkle, you know. They told me that you and Maya couldn't be reached. Is there a reason for that? Is there a good, _valid_ reason for that?"

"What did you tell them?" Lucas asked.

"I told them the truth. I said that I hardly talk to you anymore, and that you've been acting strange since September," Zay paused. "Is there something going on with you and Maya? Something that you two don't want Riley to know about?"

Lucas shook his head. "No it's nothing like that…" He took a deep breath. "I can't tell you Zay. And I can't tell Riley and I can't tell Farkle. I promised Maya that I would keep this between us."

Zay shook his head disapprovingly, looking disappointed. Lucas tried to avoid his look, feeling guilty. "Where's your integrity, man? The Lucas I know would do anything in his power to protect his friends."

"I'm protecting Maya." Lucas defended. "You don't understand. This is something that I can't share!" Lucas stood up and his voice raised in anger. "This is important!"

"What can possibly be so important that you have to hide it from your friends!" Zay yelled back, getting in Lucas's face. "We were all best friends! When did that suddenly not matter to you anymore!"

Lucas lost it. He punched the wall in anger, trying to stop from trembling. He spoke in such a vulnerable voice.

"H-how I am supposed to tell Riley… that her best friend is in jail…"

 **x.x**

 **The secret is out. But now, we need an explanation. Why do you think Maya ended up in jail? Will Riley forgive her? Why didn't Lucas say anything? And do you think Farkle is hiding something from Riley?**

 **I know this is slightly AU, because I'm sure the situation I'm writing would never happen in the show. But nonetheless, I am trying to write everyone as in character as possible. I hope I'm doing a good job.**

 **Also I've extended the story. I'm not sure how long it'll be. I'm just going with the flow. I hope you all are enjoying it so far. Please read and review. Reviews give me the inspiration to continue.**

 **(By the way, the characters of Lee and Nancy belong to me. They are actually based off of my grandparents.)**

 **Thank you for all your support!**

 **-Essessency**


	3. Chapter 3: Blurry City Lights

_**Taking time to do nothing often brings everything into perspective.**_

 **x.x**

 _It was all so much._

 _The lights, the atmosphere, the diversity, and just the feel of being in a new environment._

 _It was suffocating, but in a good way._

 _Oh how she wished Riley was here to see this. Maya quickly pulled out her phone, snapping every possible photo so her best friend could live this moment with her. The constant jerking of the taxi cab in traffic made it hard for Maya to take clear pictures. She looked through her gallery to find that most of them were blurry._

 _If Riley was there, she would say, "But it's okay to take blurry pictures, as long as you focus the camera on what's important."_

 _Maya shook her head and smiled to herself. That was exactly what Riley would say. She was already missing her. They had made plans to get together with the rest of the group around Christmas. She never counted down the days so fast._

 _Katy and Shawn came with her to help her move in. As Maya continued to take pictures, Katy put her hand on her knee, giving her daughter a proud smile._

 _Soon they arrived._

 _The university wasn't too large, but it was well known. Tuition was throughout the roof too. Maya was actually surprised that she was able to earn a full scholarship. The university had five main buildings and four dorm buildings. It was a very old place, definitely full of history. Even though the private institute was small, it all seemed very intimidating to Maya. She could be on a farm in Nebraska and it would still be too big for her. She hated changed. She wanted nothing more than to be at the bay window with her best friends._

 _Her phone vibrated in her hand._

 _ **Riles 3:**_

 _ **Hi Peaches, did you arrive safely?**_

 _ **Me:**_

 _ **Yes. I just got to the university. I didn't expect it all to be so…**_

 _ **Riles 3:**_

 _ **California-ey?**_

 _ **Me:**_

 _ **Lol. Definitely. I miss you already. Everything seems different without you.**_

 _ **Riles 3:**_

 _ **I miss you too, but think of it as a new adventure. I'll have to come out and see you soon. Maya?**_

 _ **Me:**_

 _ **Yes Pumpkin?**_

 _ **Riles 3:**_

 _ **Please keep in touch okay?**_

 _ **Me:**_

 _ **Of course.**_

 _She locked her phone and put it away. After going through orientation and the enrollment process, she was ready to move it. She was in an all girl's dorm. Katy and Shawn helped get everything set up. Maya looked around. The dorm wasn't much bigger than her bedroom in New York, except for now she would be sharing it._

' _It's no different than the sleepovers with Riley…' She thought to herself._

 _No. This isn't Riley. This will be a complete stranger. It won't be the same._

 _After getting the basic setup, Katy and Shawn were ready to head back home, and Maya was ready to head back home with them._

" _Wow," Shawn commented as he looked out the small window. "The room may be small, but you have a great view of the San Francisco Bay."_

 _Katy chuckled and sat next to Maya, putting her arm around her. "See baby girl? You have your own 'bay window'. Maybe things won't be so bad after all."_

 _Shawn sat on the other side, also putting an arm around her. "What's really bugging you, kiddo?"_

 _Maya shrugged and looked down at her friendship ring. "I miss my friends. I miss Riley, Zay, Farkle, and even Huckleberry…"_

 _Shawn looked confused. "I thought you and Lucas were-"_

 _Katy cleared her throat loudly and nodded to Maya._

" _Nevermind."_

" _You'll be fine." Katy assured Maya. "Just work hard, focus on your studies, and stay out of trouble."_

 _Maya smiled deviously. "RIley isn't here to help balance me out. I can't promise anything."_

 _Shawn sighed. "Trust me, I understand. But even though we all same far away, we aren't. We are only one phone call away if you need us."_

 _Maya nodded and smiled at her parents. "Thank you… "_

 _They sat there for a few minutes. All in a hug. It made her feel better._

 _And that night, after her roommate was sound asleep, she opened the window, looking towards the bay._

 _And there was the Golden Gate bridge, beautiful and majestic. The millions of cars crossed the bridge, looking like small blurry lights. The whole city was lit. Maybe her watery eyes made all of the lights blurry. It was beautiful, and for a second, Maya thought that maybe she could make it through._

 _ **Me:**_

 _ **I know it's late there, honey. Please get some sleep.**_

 _ **Riles 3:**_

 _ **You too okay Maya? I love you.**_

 _ **Me:**_

 _ **I love you too, weirdo.**_

 _She looked one last time at the beautiful city._

 _ **Riles 3:**_

 _ **Sweet dreams, Peaches.**_

 **x.x**

Riley woke up suddenly. She wasn't even sure why. Was she dreaming? Did she dream at all? When did she even fall asleep.

Her senses were on overdrive as many different sights and smells surrounded her. She looked around, not recognizing her surroundings at first. But then it all came back to her.

She was in Philadelphia with Farkle.

They were on their way to find Lucas and Maya.

She sat up a little too quickly, causing headrush. She looked around the large room, from the rocking chair in the corner to the large fireplace to the bay window. She got up slowly, walking towards the window, seeing the large amounts of snow that had accumulated during the night. It was morning now, and the sun was bright and the skies were blue, making the icicles on the trees glitter like it was a Christmas ornament itself.

Christmas… It was only two weeks away… They had left on the ninth, and now it was the tenth. Would they find their friends in time and be back home for the holidays?

The scent of pine and vanilla started fading away as a waft of cinnamon and bacon filled the room. She assumed that Nancy was downstairs cooking breakfast. It was about seven thirty, and she felt obligated to help. She quickly got dressed in a pair of jeans and a shirt with an orange cardigan. She walked downstairs softly, careful not to wake up any of the other guests who were sleeping. Sure enough, Nancy was in the kitchen, along with an older man.

He was very heavy, almost like a real life Santa. He was bald but had a white beard and mustache. He seemed very jolly and his eyes were a deep blue like Farkle's. He wore large overalls and a plaid shirt. He seemed to be dressed more like Lucas's Pappy Joe than a North Eastern man.

She walked in slowly, not wanting to interrupt, but the man was just reading the newspaper and drinking a glass of wine. Nancy turned around to grab something from the fridge, when she saw Riley in the doorway.

"Oh hi, dear." She smiled. "You're up early. I'm afraid that breakfast isn't quite ready yet, but would you like something to drink?"

Riley couldn't help but smile at the lady's kindness. "Milk is fine. Thank you."

Nancy nodded and went to grab a glass. The older man took off his reading glasses and smiled. "You must be the young lady that Farkle was talking about."

"Yes I am." Riley held out her hand. "I'm Riley Matthews."

The man chuckled. "So I've been told." He reached over to shake her hand. "I'm Lee. My wife Nancy and I were his mother's neighbors back in the day. We were really close with his family. Of course we only saw Stuart and Jennifer a handful of times. They raised Farkle in New York, and rarely came to visit. He was probably about nine last time we saw him. It's great that he would come and visit us."

Nancy returned with a cold glass of milk and a side of chocolate syrup to set down in front of Riley. "Farkle told me that you love mixing chocolate syrup in your milk, because chocolate milk is so unique and sweet-tasting."

Riley looked down in slight embarrassment. "He didn't leave anything out did he…" She whispered mostly to herself. "It's a childhood thing."

Nancy set the oven and sat down to join her husband. "Understandable. My two sons had little quirks like that. As well as Farkle. In fact I'm not sure he ever grew out of them."

"Well," Riley replied. "He did. But we will never forget them. They are still apart of who he is."

Lee turned over to his wife. "I was just telling Riley about our relation to the Minkuses. You know, we are partially responsible for his name."

Riley's eyes widened. "Really?"

Lee nodded. "Yup. You see, because Minkus International was started, Stuart was trying to find a way to make the world his own. He was in that phase where he was pressured to do certain things. I told him to loosen up just a little, so I took him out to a casino. Well, after much luck, he ended up winning thirty thousand. That's actually where he got the starting fund for his own company. And now, he is a very successful business man."

"And the first game that he won on, was a dice game called Farkle." Nancy finished. "Lee joked around and said that Farkle brought him a lot of luck and that he should name his first born after it. We weren't actually expecting him to."

"Talking rumors about me?"

Riley turned around quickly to see Farkle leaning against the door, already in his regular clothes and wearing a smirk on his face. She smiled sweetly and patted the seat next to her.

He sat down as Lee said, "Sorry Farkle, we thought we'd make her feel a little more comfortable by telling her how we know each other."

"It's no problem, really." Farkle said. "I knew she would feel comfortable here, that's why I brought her."

Nancy started cutting up some fruit. "So do your parents know of your whereabouts?"

Farkle nodded. "Yes and no. They don't know exactly where we are, but they know of our destination. I had a long talk with my parents, and Riley recently talked to hers too."

"So where are you going anyway?" Nancy asked. "You never really specified."

"Sorry about that. I thought it wasn't necessary to go into detail unless the subject was brought up. As I've told you, my best friends since middle school have been Riley, Maya, Lucas, Zay, and-" He paused with a sad glance but shook it off. "Yeah, and Zay… and we all headed our separate ways four months ago. Zay and Lucas returned to Texas, and Maya went off to California. We are all really close friends, but there are no closer friends than Riley and Maya. They have always been two of a kind," Farkle smiled at Riley, who tried her hardest to return it. "They have never been apart from each other until then. Well, Maya somewhat disappeared. We haven't had any contact from her. We don't know if it was intentional or if something happened, but I know Riley is really scared. I am too, to be honest. We tried to talk to Lucas to see if he knew anything, but he is ignoring us. According to Zay, he has been ignoring him too so we have no idea what's going on. It's holiday break now, so Riley and I are going to Texas to get Lucas and then to California to get some answers."

Lee and Nancy looked at Farkle for awhile, trying to process what he had said. Riley sat quietly and stirred her chocolate milk, watching the dark swirls and being reminded of Maya in every way. She couldn't look at anyone. She just couldn't.

Lee cleared his throat. "Have you tried talking to Maya's parents?"

Farkle's eyes widened and Riley dropped her spoon, hearing it clink to the table. How had they not thought of that?

"Of course…" Riley's eyes lit up with a hope that Farkle hadn't seen in months. "Of course! We can talk to Katy and Uncle Shawn! They have to know something!" With that realization, she ran upstairs.

Farkle shrugged, "I can't be the genius _all_ the time."

 **x.x**

Zay sat on the opposite side of the room, mouth wide open.

"Dude." Lucas said. "You've been in shock for the past twenty four hours… say something…"

"I can't believe this…" Zay shook his head. "Maya is in jail?! And you didn't tell anyone?!"

Lucas sat next to his best friend and sighed. "I know… I know but it isn't my fault… She had one phone call Zay… She could've called her mom or Riley or anyone. She decided to call me… and- and you should've heard how broken she was. She pleaded for me not to tell anyone… and that she wanted to figure this out on her own… I-I couldn't say no… and that's why I've been avoiding Riley, Farkle, and you. I knew that if I talked to them… I wouldn't be able hide it.. So it was best to shut everyone else out…"

Zay looked at him strongly. "I understand wanting to be loyal to her… but there are so many other ways to handle this. You were taught better than this. We are your best friends. You can count on us through anything… and we will figure something out to help her… you have to mend whatever this is with Riley and Farkle and you have to do it now."

Lucas looked ahead, conflict in his eyes. "I want to… believe me Zay. But it won't be that easy. I have been keeping this secret for three months… I haven't been able to go to California to see Maya, and I don't even know why she's there or when she's getting out. I haven't heard anything… it was just a two minute phone call of her crying and telling me not to tell anyone… Whatever she did must have been pretty awful.. But I'm scared, Zay. Riley would be devastated… and so would Maya…"

Zay stood up. "Fine… you get two days. If you don't confess to them in two days, then I will. Because I am a true friend and Riley and Farkle don't deserve this. They should know what is happening…" With that, Zay stood up and walked briskly out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

Lucas felt tears and anger burning in his eyes. What has become of him? What about Maya? What about Riley? This wasn't a world that they were prepared for.

 **x.x**

 _It was the third night._

 _This wasn't as hard as Maya pictured it would be. It was one of the best art schools in the country. The crowd who went here was from a background like Farkle's, privileged and classy. She was the odd one out in what seemed to be the whole school. She sat behind beautiful girls with gaudy diamond earrings and shoes that probably cost more than her entire wardrobe. She didn't see anyone who seemed charming and polite, like Lucas._

 _Or funny and relatable, like Zay._

 _Or unique and sweet, like Farkle._

 _Or bright and bubbly, like Riley._

 _Everyone here was upper class. Looks of celebrities and fancy dinner parties. It was a world where she didn't belong._

 _Which is why she was excited, when she was invited to a party._

 _A girl named Maureen was hosting. She was a senior, and she seemed nice enough. She wasn't as conceited or bland like most of these students were. The whole student body was pretty much invited. Maya wanted to make an impression. If she was going to spend a lot of her time here, then she needed to learn to branch out._

 _So she found the beautiful black and white dress that she had worn to prom. She wore her hair down, to cover her ears that wouldn't be donned in expensive jewels. She did wear her friendship ring and her locket._

 _She took a look at herself in the mirror, proud of herself for trying to fit in._

 _But she knew Riley would be disappointed, because Riley needed Maya and Maya needed Riley._

 _They needed to be themselves._

 _But not tonight, Maya decided. Tonight, she would put on her confidence and do her best to branch out. She always had Riley, but right now, she just needed anybody._

 _She whipped out her phone, debating on whether or not to tell Riley._

 _Ironically, Riley had just sent her a text._

 _ **Riles 3:**_

 _ **Ugh… stupid biology… it's a lot harder than high school…**_

 _ **Me: Lol. That's because we had Farkle and Smackle tutoring us.**_

 _She smiled, taking in a deep breath and starting to type._

 _ **Me: Hey Riles, I actually gotta go…**_

 _ **Riles 3: You got homework too?**_

 _Maya sighed. She couldn't do it. She knew that Riley would be a little upset that she was going to have fun without her._

 _ **Me: Yeah, something like that. I'll talk to you later okay?**_

 _ **Riles 3: Alright. I'll be going to bed soon anyways, so goodnight!**_

 _ **Me: Goodnight, honey. Be a good student and get all your homework done okay?**_

 _ **Riles 3: Of course!**_

 _ **Riles 3: Sweet dreams, Peaches.**_

 **x.x**

After having a very filling and wonderful breakfast, Riley and Farkle left the bed & breakfast. Riley tried over and over to call Katy, but she wouldn't answer. Riley assumed that she was taking an extra shift at Topanga's. Cory told Riley that Shawn was actually in Canada, writing reviews for different concerts and symphonies. This meant that he couldn't be contacted so easily.

Riley sat in the car, a little bummed but still trying to keep hope. Topanga's closed at 10:30, which meant that Riley couldn't call her until 9:30. They would hopefully be in Chicago by then, and they would have to get used to a different time zone.

The first two hours were very quiet. Riley was lost in her own thoughts and it seemed like Farkle was as well. It wasn't awkward. It was just a comfortable silence. Riley even fell asleep for a while. When she woke up, it was still very cloudy and she had no idea what time it was.

"Farkle…" She yawned and her voice was a bit croaky from not talking for so long. "Where are we?"

"Somewhere in Ohio." He answered. "It's a twelve hour drive from Philadelphia to Chicago, so that's why we left right at nine. If there isn't much traffic, then we will get there at about eight, Chicago time."

She nodded and pulled out her phone. She didn't have any texts from anyone, as usual. She looked at Google Maps and realized something. "Farkle?"

"Yes?"

She looked at him in confusion. "Wouldn't it be faster to get to Texas through West Virginia? Why are we going straight west to Illinois."

"Well.." He was tapping his left foot, something Riley knew he did when he was nervous. "Despite how wealthy my parents are, I've never actually traveled that much. I know it's important that we get to Texas as soon as possible, but I guess I really wanted to explore the country a little." He avoided her eyes, thinking that she would be upset.

She opened her mouth to say something but nothing came out except an, "Oh…"

His hand gripped tighter on the steering wheel and he continued to focus on the icy roads. They sat a few minutes in silence, but this time, it was an awkward silence.

"Please don't be mad…" He blurted out. "Please? I know you want to get to Texas as soon as possible, but I just wanted to do this… to explore and be… me…"

She looked at him surprised and as he turned to look at her, she gave him a soft smile. "Okay."

 **x.x**

As Farkle had predicted, they arrived in Chicago around eight. The city wasn't too crowded considering the hour and the weather. Farkle had made reservations earlier at a Holiday Inn, just in case it was crowded. After parking, they decided to get their luggage and get to their room. Riley was very eager to call Katy, but she needed to charge her phone.

Riley sat down with the luggage while Farkle went to the front desk to get the room key. It was about 8:30. She still had an hour before Katy would even be off.

"You ready?"

She was so lost in her own thoughts that she didn't even realize that Farkle was back. She nodded and they headed to the elevators.

He handed her a room key. "So we are on the tenth floor. I only booked one room, but it's a suite so there's a separate living room. I could always sleep on the couch if you'd like."

She shook her head. "No, if there are two beds you can have one and I'll have the other. It's no big deal." She gave him a small smile. "Thank you Farkle…"

They got out of the elevator and headed towards the room, setting their luggage down once they got in. "Thank you for what?

She sat on the bed near the window and he sat next to her. She turned toward him. "For everything. For this trip and for being there for me." She smiled. "You are a wonderful friend."

He gave her a small smile of his own. "Not as wonderful as you." He turned around to grab the flyer on the desk. "So it's pretty late. Do you want to order something?"

"Just a pizza is fine. I know after dinner you'll probably want to hit the hay," She chuckled to herself, remembering how she got that phrase from Lucas. "You've been driving all day and you must be tired."

"Nah, I'll be fine."

But Riley was right. Not long after they ate, Farkle was passed out cold on the bed. He wasn't under the covers or even in his pajamas. Riley felt bad, but she didn't want to wake him up.

She shut off the lamps, letting the moonlight and bright city be the only source of light. She opened the curtains, wanting to see Chicago.

And there was the Navy Pier Ferris Wheel, all lit up but not running due to the snow. Her window was faced towards Lake Michigan. There were many buildings that illuminated the night, but the lake and horizon was completely dark and empty. The whole city was lit and it reminded Riley so much of New York. She started to tear up. Everything outside was blurry. Maybe her watery eyes made all of the lights blurry. It was beautiful, and for a second, Riley thought that maybe she could make it through.

But it only lasted for a second, and suddenly, the room was suffocating. She had to get out. She had to.

She grabbed her jacket and looked towards Farkle, who was still peacefully sleeping.

"I'm sorry…" She whispered, holding in her tears. Then she headed towards the door and ran out.

 **x.x**

 **So as we go along, this story is going to get more AU. More dramatic things will happen for all of the characters, but I'm still trying to make it as in character as possible. I know there is a lot of things wrong with this story. Obviously, if Maya was in jail, Katy and Shawn would find out right away. Lucas would've told them and Riley and Farkle probably wouldn't have run off like that.**

 **However, for the sake of the storyline, I need you to just kind of go for it, even if it isn't realistic. It is meant to be an adventure where they will find out more about themselves and the world.**

 **If there is anything specific between two characters that you want to see, let me know. I hope that the snippets of Maya's experience aren't too confusing. Also, I was stereotyping. I don't really know much about the California school for the arts except that it's in San Francisco and it's an expensive private school. I don't know who goes there or if it's a good school, but for the sake of the story just go with it. Also I made them go to Chicago because I am from Chicago and there are many experiences that I want to share.**

 **So for next time:**

 **Why is Maya in jail?**

 **Why does Lucas feel like he has to hide it?**

 **Why did Riley run out? Where is she going?**

 **What is Farkle hiding?**

 **To find out, please read and review!**

 **\- Essessency**


	4. Chapter 4: Fight The Night

_**There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. And in the end you will learn who is fake, who is true, and who would risk it all for you.**_

 **x.x**

 _She walked down the street as fast as she could in her heels. Luckily, the September weather was still very warm and the evening was comfortably cool._

 _This was California after all, and she had to get used to this change._

 _So she took off her overcoat and held it in one hand while checking her phone with the other. Only two blocks more before she would reach the right address._

 _Maya couldn't help but think of the lack of high school parties she attended. There were a few, here and there. But she would only go to the one's where she knew who was hosting. Like Darby's sweet sixteen or Farkle's meteor launching party._

 _That one was interesting._

 _She was invited to lots of parties, but she always turned them down. She wasn't stupid. She knew what happened at parties. She wasn't going to be one of those people. So instead, she slept over at Riley's and they ate endless bowls of popcorn and watched Disney movies._

 _She felt a sudden pang in her heart at the memory, and she looked back down at her phone._

 _It was nearly eleven. It was probably like two in the morning back in New York. She was sure Riley was asleep._

 _She missed her though, way more than she let in._

 _She took a deep breath and continued down the sidewalk, hearing cheers and loud music. She arrived at a house that she swore was like a museum. I guessed she assumed that a rich kid party would be more… sophisticated._

 _But the beer cans that littered the yard and the countless couples making out in the grass proved her wrong. She felt awkward and wanted so badly to turn back. This wasn't her scene. Even she didn't belong here._

 _She ignored everything and numbly walked up to the door._

 _She turned left instead of right._

 **x.x**

The city was filled with so many sounds.

Sirens wailing.

People speaking many different language.

Horns blasting from taxes.

It should've been overwhelming, but for Riley Matthews, it was just like home.

New York City was the largest city in the United States. If she could recall Chicago was either number three or four. She should've been scared. If she was anything like the person she was four months ago, she would've been scared to go out without holding her parent's hand. She was acting like Maya, straying off as if it was second nature. Walking with confidence. Not showing any signs of weakness.

But now she was alone, and it was midnight, and she didn't have her phone. She didn't know where she was going. Her mind was racing and she just needed an escape. She would walk until she couldn't anymore, and then she would turn back to the hotel as if nothing had happened.

She walked down the cracked sidewalk, lights still strung from stores. Snow and ice frosted the pathway, making it a little hard to walk. She wanted to go on the subway and just leave. But there were two problems.

One, Chicago doesn't have a subway. The have the metra or the L, all of which were above the ground.

Two, she knew, better than anyone, that she couldn't run away from her problems.

But she wasn't running away. She was just taking a walk. It got colder and colder as she walked north. Very few cars were out, and not so many people were out either. The only people who were out were people she knew she didn't fit in with. Druggies, the homeless, and the prostitutes.

The homeless held signs, made of recycled cardboard. The words were bold with black marker. They pleaded for help, saying they lost their job, have a health condition, have kids that they couldn't provide for.

Their sad eyes looked at her, a girl with wealth. They watched her and longed for a dollar, a sandwich, socks, or anything..

But she couldn't do anything. They were everywhere she turned. She couldn't help one without needing to help them all.

 _What us does for them..._

Riley kept on walking, trying to avoid their stares and pretending like she couldn't feel the bubbling guilt in her stomach and their piercing stares burning into the back of her skull.

 **x.x**

Lucas had trouble falling asleep.

He was back home now, after much convincing from Zay that he couldn't brood in his dorm room forever. Zay came back with him, making sure he would be okay. His Pappy Joe didn't know anything about what was going on. All he knew was that Lucas wasn't himself. He just seemed lost these days… confused.

Only Zay and Lucas knew the truth. Not even Riley knew… Maya's other half.

And the guilt was killing him. It haunted him when he tried to keep his mind off of things. It cursed his dreams and gave him insomnia.

He was doing this for Maya, but it was hurting him.

He layed on his back, eyes staring at his ceiling. It was now midnight. The room was dark and bleak. The atmosphere was silent, but thick.

His eyelids started to droop as a sudden state of drowsiness hit him. He closed his eyes, waiting to finally let sleep take him when he heard her.

 _Lucas._

He wanted so badly to open his eyes. To see her light blue eyes staring back. To see her smile and prove that she wasn't as broken as he thought.

He slowly opened his eyes open, a blurred image of her staring back down. Her eyes were filled with tears and she had that soft look on her face.

"M-Maya…" His brain wasn't comprehending the situation. What was this? Why was she here?

 _Ssshh.._ She sat next to him and slowly touched his face. _You won't tell anyone will you? You will keep your promise to me, won't you?_ Her voice was hushed, as if she didn't want anyone to hear.

"No…" He slurred, his eyes barely open. "I don't know… Maya… I can't keep this to myself anymore…"

He was so tired that he wasn't even sure if the words were said out loud or if he just thought them to himself.

Her eyes narrowed. _Lucas… you will keep this promise… you won't tell anyone. Because …_ Her face leaned in close. He couldn't feel her breath, but he swore he could feel the brush of her lips against his. _Because you're in love with me…_ she mumbled against his lips.

"Maya!"

He sat upright in bed, a sheet of sweat covering his body. His breaths were rugged, as if he'd been holding his breath underwater. He looked around, his eyes frantically searching the room for any sign of her. But he didn't find anything. He did feel his lips tingle, and he reached up to touch them, wondering what this could possibly mean.

He broke. He couldn't do it anymore.

He took a deep breath, grabbing his phone and seeing a picture of the six of them at graduation. He zoomed in on Maya's face, looking a the proud smile she wore. Her eyes told a different story.

What happens now?

He took a shaky breath. _I'm sorry Maya… for everything… You were right. You always were. Maybe I've fallen for you… and I never wanted to admit it… and now I've let you down._

"Maya…" He spoke out loud now, trying to find the words, as if he was praying. "I've been keeping this secret, because I'm loyal to you… but by doing so, I've hurt everyone else. You're right. I do love you. And because of that, I have to do what's best for you.." He grabbed his phone and quickly dialed a familiar number before he could change his mind.

 **x.x**

He was in the middle of a heavy, dreamless sleep when he heard it, the high pitched ringing of Riley's phone.

Farkle was still half conscious and turned over to grab it, guessing that she was in the bathroom or asleep on the couch in the other room and couldn't answer. It was probably Katy.

The room was dark, except for the lights that were bright behind the thin white curtains. He blinked his eyes a couple of times and sat up to wake up faster. He didn't even bother checking the caller I.D. as he answered in a groggy voice. "Hello?"

"Riley…" A rugged rushed voice spoke from the other line. "Riley, please don't hang up… we need to talk… I have so much to explain…"

Farkle immediately snapped awake and his eyes widened upon hearing that voice. He checked the caller I.D., seeing that it was who he thought. He took a deep breath, trying to keep in four months of anger from no contact. "Lucas…" He said in a clear voice. "It's been awhile…"

Lucas, on the other hand, was confused. "Who is this? Do I have the wrong number?" He looked again to see that it was Riley's phone. His mind thought the worst. "Who has Riley's phone?!"

"Chill you Freak, it's just me."

Lucas sighed in relief. "Oh… hi Farkle..." His brain processed the situation again. "Wait, Farkle, why do you have Riley's phone?! Especially this late!" It may have been midnight in Austin and Chicago, but it was one in the morning in New York.

Farkle leaned back against the pillows. "It's a lot to explain… we both have a lot of explaining to do."

Lucas chuckled humorlessly, "We sure do. I do know about Maya… Farkle, something happened… something I'm not quite sure of…"

Farkle felt worry overcome him and continued laying down so he wouldn't faint. "W-what happened… is she okay? Please tell me she's okay…"

"I-I don't really know myself, Farkle. Please get Riley on the line… I know she is probably really angry at me right now, but she needs to hear this…"

"Okay, hold on." Farkle agreed and stood up, seeing that Riley wasn't in the other bed. She must've been in the other room then. He walked over to the bathroom, knocking on the door. "Riley? Riley… are you in there?" He looked to the floor and saw that the light was off. He cracked open the door a little bit and saw she wasn't in there.

He went into the other room, where there was a small kitchen, a couch, and a television. The whole room was dark. Not one sign of her. His eyes scanned the room, averting to the coat hanger, where her coat no longer was.

His eyes widened. She wouldn't… this would be something Maya would do, but definitely not Riley.

 _People change people…_

He ran over to the phone and rushedly said, "I'll call you back." Leaving Lucas without an explanation.

Then he pocketed their phones, grabbed his jacket, and went to search Chicago.

 **x.x**

Riley walked until she couldn't walk anymore. She stopped when her feet were in the sand and the frozen water was kissing her toes.

Lake Michigan.

She wasn't going to do anything rash. She just wasn't in the right state of mind. Her mind was blurred and this entire trip seemed like a dream to her. Nothing but a blurry, weird dream. She stepped closer to the lake. The whole bright city was behind her, but in front of her was a dark black hole. You couldn't see anything. She could maybe make out a booey. She couldn't even see the water. Everything was just nothing. It seemed like she could swim, but if she tried, she would fall off the edge of the world. She looked up toward the sky. Even the moon and stars were clouded over tonight.

She continued to stare into that abyss, started to form an image in her mind.

 _Riley, come back._

Her eyes focused on the booey, bobbing up and down with each wave of the slushing water.

 _Riley…_

She heard her mom.

 _Riley…_

Her dad.

 _Riley._

Auggie.

 _Riley._

Farkle.

 _Riley!_

Lucas.

 _RILEY!_

Maya.

And all of a sudden she was twelve years old again, caught into another flashback.

" _Riley… why did you do this?" Her dad walked toward her on the beach. Her arms wrapped around her legs, rocking in the fetal position. "Why did you run off? We were all so worried…"_

 _She looked behind her, seeing her mom, Auggie, Riley, Farkle, Lucas, and Maya. All looking at her with concern._

" _Riley." Maya stepped forward. "You had us all very scared… why did you do this?"_

 _Her lip trembled and her eyes were glazed over. She got up and ran toward Maya, launching herself in her arms and crying hard into her shoulder._

" _Riley, please don't ever do this again…" Lucas spoke up, rubbing her back. "We all really care about you."_

" _Whatever is going on, we can work out together." Farkle assured, smiling at her. "Because we are all best friends and we can figure out anything."_

 _She smiled at them, apologizing profusely._

 _Maya held out her hand. "C'mon honey, let's go home."_

She snapped back. The freezing water finally took its effect and the flinched back, her toes numb and blue. She realized she didn't know where she was or how she got here. It's like she was stuck in a state of paralysis.

She grabbed her shoes and got them back on her feet and ran back towards the city. She ran towards the light, hoping it would guide her back to something familiar.

 _To this day, they still didn't know why she ran off._

The city wasn't as welcoming as before. She swore she heard a gunshot and she tried to run faster, the ice slipping beneath her.

 _She said it was a phase. She was fine, and they left it alone._

 _She wasn't fine._

Her breathing got heavier as she continued to run, not even focusing on where she was going.

 _Riley_

That voice was so familiar…

 _Riley!_

Where was it coming from?

 _RILEY!_

It was so urgent.

And then she crashed into his arms, scared at first that it could've been anyone. But no, she'd recognize his star hoodie anywhere.

He stumbled for a second, a little confused. Her face was buried in his jacket, scared to look at anything any longer. Her arms were tightly around him and he was just grateful that she was okay.

"Riley…" His voice cracked as he tried to compose himself. "Y-you really scared me… don't ever do that again.." He spoke softly but with a firm tone.

Her answer was a nod that he felt, holding him tighter. She wanted to speak, but couldn't find the words.

"C'mon." He urged, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "Let's go back."

They started down the cracked sidewalk again. The city was quiet, but it was an eerie quiet.

They walked through an alleyway as a shortcut, something they were told to never do.

And now they knew why.

There was a figure, sitting against the bricks. The hair was long and matted. The teeth were rotted. He had a thick beard and wore a large jacket.

Riley locked eyes with him and she immediately got an uneasy feeling. Farkle pulled her closer, giving the man a glare as a warning signal.

He whispered to Riley. "Keep your eyes on the ground and continue walking."

That was the wrong thing to do.

"Hey!" The man shouted.

Riley cringed and Farkle turned around.

"You got change to spare?"

"No." Farkle stated firmly. "I'm sorry." He noticed an empty beer bottle on the ground and knew they had to be careful.

"Alright…" The man slurred, standing up. "That's okay… no problem." He stepped closer to Farkle.

Farkle backed off. "Good…"

The man laughed insanely, more like an evil cackle. He violently grabbed Riley's arm. "I'll get my money's worth…"

Farkle could only see red, pushing the man against the wall. "Don't touch her…" His voice was so low, Riley couldn't hear. She was already shaken up.

The man seemed surprised by Farkle's outburst but quickly gained composure and pushed him on the ground, lifting up the empty bottle.

Riley was terrified, but she didn't want Farkle to get hurt, so she screamed.

Farkle shut his eyes tight, ready for whatever would happen next, when suddenly the man was slumped over, unconscious.

Riley ran over and held Farkle, checking to make sure he was alright. He nodded and they looked up, looking toward a woman with a large purse.

She chuckled. "I'm really glad this thing is so heavy. What are you kids doing here? Oh nevermind, let's just get you home." She wore a large hat and a cotton scarf muffled her speech.

She walked them safely back, and then left, as if she was never there.

They didn't even get her name and the two were already disoriented from everything else that was happening.

As soon as they were locked inside the room and safe, Riley ran over to Farkle and hugged him again, tears running down her face. Then, she took a pillow and hit him.

"Ow! What was that for?!"

She kept hitting him. "Oh shut up!" She replied harshly. "It's a pillow!"

"I know!" He said and grabbed her hands, restraining her from hitting him. "I'm metaphorically hurt. Why are you mad at me? If anything, I'm mad at you!"

"What?! I'm not the one who could've gotten killed!" She yelled.

"Yes you are!" He yelled back. "You're the one who ran off in the first place! Why would you do something so stupid?!"

"Because!" She slumped to the floor as the tears started to pour again, she looked up, her eyes red rimmed. "I didn't know what else to do…" She answered, defeated.

He sighed, sitting next to her. "Your dad was right… this world is so big and some of it is so violent.. I guess we thought we could take it on by ourselves…"

"Do you think that's what happened to Maya?" Riley sniffled and rested her head on his shoulder. "Do you think it was too big for her to handle?"

Farkle nodded. "Alone, yeah… It's too big for any of us to handle alone… that's how we get ourselves in these situations."

It became deafening silent when Riley spoke again.

"Do you remember that day in seventh grade.. Where I just ran off to the beach and no one was able to find me?"

"Yeah. You scared us all." He sat up and looked at her. "Why did you do it, Riley?"

She looked at him very serious, her words coming up hesitantly. "I thought and felt I was alone…" She gave him a soft smile. "But I'm not now, are I?"

He returned her smile. "You never were."

 **x.x**

It was now three in the morning. Farkle and Riley had talked for the last two hours. And when they didn't talk, they sat there.

He told her about Lucas, and she was in shock. They called him and he just couldn't find the words to explain Maya's current situation. Riley told him about their little road trip, deciding to leave out the night's events. Lucas told them to come straight to Austin and they would all head to California together. So they would leave super early to get to Texas, but neither one of them were sleepy.

Riley yawned and Farkle chuckled. "You should get some rest."

"I think we can both agree that sleep is hard to do. We just have to fight the night." Riley said. "I'm really sorry Farkle… for all of this…"

"Don't be." He said. "It's not your fault."

She yawned again, leaning against him. "Yes… it…. Is…" She shut her eyes, falling into the inevitable sleep.

He sat there, thinking to himself. Maybe things would get better. Maybe Maya was safe?

His phone lit up.

 _ **Lucas:**_ _Meet me and Zay at the Austin local holiday festival tomorrow at 7. We have a lot of catching up to do and it's best that we do it in person._

 _ **Me:**_ _See you there._

Riley was fast asleep now, she had shifted to his leg and used it as a pillow. He didn't mind.

His curiosity got the best of him and he decide to google something.

Maya Penelope Hart.

What he found shook him to the core.

 **x.x**

 **Uh oh! Farkle found out the full truth! Or what it is supposedly. I'm sorry if this is getting too out of character. I like angst and I know this show has the potential, especially when they are older.**

 **So what do you think? Sorry if it wasn't what you were expecting. I'm taking psychology so I'm focusing a lot of their thoughts. I tend to pour my heart out when I write.**

 **I hope you guys are still interested. Please review and let me know your thoughts.**

 **-Essessency**


	5. Chapter 5: What Matters is Us

" _ **Still I'm pinned under the weight of what I believed would keep me safe. So show me where my armor ends. Show me where my skin begins. Like a final puzzle piece, it all makes sense to me. The heaviness in my heart belongs to gravity"**_

" _ **Pluto" by Sleeping At Last**_

 **x.x**

The sun rose like any other day. To anyone, it was just another day. But to them, it was another day in Hell.

Lucas finally fell asleep at four, and got at least two hours of shut eye. But he was up as early as the roosters, and he went outside to get some fresh air.

His family farm was quite small compared to others in the area, but it was still home. Their barn was a quarter of a mile behind their house, near the pastures and vegetable garden. He had twenty-four horses, six pigs, ten chickens, two roosters, four cows, two sheep, and a dog. Pappy Joe kept them all in their very large barn, not wanting to deal with the unnecessary noise.

Lucas slipped on his boots and hat, having fallen asleep in his jeans and flannel shirt. He nearly ran up the hill toward the fields. There was an open grassy area with acres upon acres of farmland. The early rising sun made the dew on the grass glisten. The sky was a very bright blue, with only few clouds in it. Lucas reached the top of the hill and sat underneath an Oak. The Oak had been there way longer than he had. As long as Lucas could remember, the Oak was there. It was his special spot. He would sit underneath for hours and look at the stars, read, play with Zay on the tire swing that use to hang… or just listen. He would lay there during sunset, when the crickets chirped and the fireflies came out. He would never speak. He would just listen to the wind rattle the leaves and the stream's flowing water. It was serenity. It was home. It was one thing he missed when he went to New York. He tried to listen to the city at night, but all he heard were horns and yelling. He didn't understand how that was comforting to Riley and Maya.

Around his neck of the woods, there were four distinct seasons. Leaves changed in the fall, it was beautiful in the Spring, usually cold in the Winter, and the air was like fire in the Summer. This winter was mild. It was late in December, and there was absolutely no snow on the ground. They did get some rain, and the temperature was in the lower fifties, but it was nothing compared to New York. The ground was wet and the air was frigid, but he felt numb. He took off his hat and set it beside him. He laid on the wet grass and rested his head on his arms, looking up at the bare branches of his beloved Oak.

 _Lucas_

There it was again… Maya's voice. He closed his eyes and ignored it, and just as he thought, it blew away in the wind.

He was going crazy. He and Zay knew it. He hated keeping this. He hated being torn between his best friends. Where was the 'moral compass' when you needed him?

He came to the Oak, because it was his equivalent to the bay window. It was his spot, where he could figure things out. In fact, he came here after the whole 'bull riding incident'. It was the next morning, quite like this. Except the leaves were multicolored and they littered the ground, but most of them lingered on the branches. The air was unusually cold, and that afternoon they would board the train to New York, wanting to forget all of the drama that happened here.

But it wasn't that easy.

The more Lucas thought about it, the more it came back. He closed his eyes again, and when he opened them, it was a new picture.

 _Lucas_

He didn't even flinch when he heard the voice this time. He just immersed himself into the past.

" _Lucas!"_

 _His eyes snapped opening, focusing on a glaring Maya hovering above him. He shielded his eyes from the bright sun behind her with his hat, trying not to focus on the angelic glow that it cast on her._

" _What?"_

 _She huffed in a very 'Maya' manner. She put her hands on her hips. "We leave in an hour. Riley has been looking for you."_

 _Lucas sat up, his back against the Oak. "Yeah." He scoffed. "After leaving me without an explanation. Telling me that we are something we are clearly not." He stopped to look at Maya and he regretted saying anything. Maya's head was down. She was focusing on the blades of grass that were imprinting on her leg. He sighed. "Are we going to talk about what happened last night?"_

 _She shrugged. "We probably should. It shouldn't be important to me.." She looked him in the eyes. "But for some reason it is."_

 _Lucas smiled softly, feeling something like hope burning in his chest. "It is?"_

 _Maya nodded and her expression turned stoic. "We have to tell Riley._

 _Lucas felt the hope burn out, replaced by a rock, weighing him down. "No.. we can't."_

 _Maya's eyes flashed like fire. "What do you mean no?! She's my best friend and I don't keep secrets from her. I-it was already hard enough trying to keep this from her. And I feel so guilty. I can't do it."_

" _But she'll be torn!" Lucas argued back. "If she finds out it will destroy her."_

 _The tears built up in Maya's eyes as she looked in the distance, toward Lucas's ranch style house. "It already has. Lucas, she knows that I like you… I think she knows that something was bound to happen. And I think that she's trying to be okay with that."_

" _But is she?"_

" _I don't know."_

 _Then all was silent, and Maya slumped against the tree beside Lucas. Thoughts were racing through his mind and he couldn't keep up._

" _What if…" He started carefully. "What if something were to happen.. Between you and me.. How would Riley feel?_

 _Maya's voice was soft. "She would be upset, probably. But she would act like it's all okay and go with it. Should would do that for me… because that's who Riley is…"_

" _If something were to happen… between you and me… how would you feel?" He looked down at her with intensity._

 _She returned his gaze with a soft smile. "I wouldn't hate it."_

 _And then she got up and walked towards the house, leaving Lucas in a state of shock._

He opened his eyes again. The sun was higher in the sky and he guessed that it was probably later in the morning. He had been thinking about that dilemma in eighth grade. Back then, it seemed like the biggest problem in the universe. It was nothing that they had ever dealt with before. Now, this was minor.

Lucas ended up with Riley, for a couple of years. They ended on good terms, when Riley realized that they were still stuck. Maya trudged on, pursuing other interests.

He remembered that when this happened, Maya needed to tell Riley. She said she would never keep secrets from her.

But she kept this one. The biggest one. And Lucas now realized why she couldn't tell Riley.

It wasn't what she did. It wasn't who she was. It was that she let Riley down. She betrayed her in the worst way possible, and now she doesn't think Riley will forgive her.

 _I'd rather let it go then to see her in pain_

But Maya didn't know how much damage was done. She doesn't think that this could be fixed.

But they would all be together soon. And they would figure out a way.

 **x.x**

Farkle never slept.

Riley fell asleep in his lap and he was just stuck there, paralyzed. It was like his brain stopped working.

Which never happened to him.

I guess this proves that he's human. Or maybe a robot with a malfunction. Either way, he was broken. Even more broken than before.

He realized that to get to Texas on time, they would need to leave immediately, so he got Riley up, packed, and they left at four in the morning.

Riley curled up in a ball. Snoozing in the comfortable passengers seat. Farkle sighed, hoping that their early morning departure would lead to no traffic.

Katy never returned their call. Topanga mentioned that Katy called in sick and she wasn't sure what was going on. Their only hope for answers was Lucas.

But Farkle knew the answers, and he didn't like them.

His hands tightened on the wheel as they continued speeding down the highway. She found her eyes fluttering open around the same time the sun rose. The very dim rays started to reach the road and fields, glittering off the freshly fallen snow.

Everything started coming back to her, and she wondered for a second if it was a bad dream.

No. It was too real to be any sort of dream.

She rested her head on the window, trying not to let anything get to her. But there was still mist in her eyes and her heavy breaths made puffs of moisture on the window.

Farkle saw her move from his peripheral vision, but he didn't dare to look her in the eyes. He was afraid of losing his composure. There was one time in their relationship, that Farkle stressed the importance of honesty. He had to be honest with her. He opened his mouth to say something.

"Riley.." He blurted out, immediately regretted it.

She turned towards him, croaking out a, "Yeah?"

He kept his eyes on the road, cursing himself. He couldn't tell her.. He physically couldn't. Now, she would be suspicious.. She knew when he was hiding something just as much as when he knew she was.

"Um, are you hungry?" He quickly changed the subject.

She shrugged. "A little, now that you mention it."

He sighed internally, glad that she didn't sense his distress. "Open up the mini fridge in the back. There should be bottles of water, juice, fruit, and yogurt."

"Okay, thanks." She turned behind and began digging to see what she could find.

His mind was racing as fast as his car. He had always been honest with Riley, what was stopping him now? Had something changed?

Maybe this is why Lucas couldn't say anything… it would crush Riley. And he knew that if he talked to her, he wouldn't help but say something. Avoiding them wasn't out of hatred. It was out of love.

Riley opened a cheese stick and began munching. "Where are we?"

"Still in Illinois. I underestimated how far it is to Austin, so we probably won't get there until really late tonight."

"We'll meet Zay and Lucas tomorrow." Riley said. "It's alright.. I kind of like being out here. It feels free and… and I'm glad I'm with you."

Farkle felt himself getting flustered but hoped that Riley didn't noticed. So he just squeaked out a, "Me too…"

She gave him a soft smile and continued staring out the window. It got uncomfortably silent.

"Why don't we turn on the radio?" Riley offered. "You're very quiet…"

"Just tired." He mumbled as she turned the knob, causing alternative music to blast from the speakers.

She sighed and leaned back, closing her eyes.

He snuck a glance at her, wishing he hadn't.

She put on a brave front, but she was broken too. She was losing the light in her eyes, the brightness in her smile, and the enthusiasm in her voice.

What was left?

The music faded out to play a sad love song. Farkle squirmed, trying to focus on the road. She noticed this.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing Riley…"

Wrong answer.

She turned off the radio and turned towards him. "Farkle."

"Riley. Not now." He said softly.

She sat up straighter. "So something is wrong.. I knew it! What is it?"

His foot started to tap again. She was getting on his nerves, something that rarely happened. "No Riley. Just let it go." He took an exit that wasn't on the map, but he could care less. They quickly pulled in the parking lot of some sort of forest preserve.

"No Farkle. You're my friend. Friends tell each other the truth."

He put on the break and quickly got out. "Not this time…"

She quickly ran after him and grab ahold of his arm. "Farkle please…"

"Just stop!" He yelled, making Riley freeze. Her eyes watered and he immediately felt guilty, but that didn't stop him from ranting. "Just stop! You aren't the only one carrying around pain, you know! I am done being taken for granted! I'm done with you being so caught up in your own world that you don't see what's right in front of you!"

She quickly let go of him, trying to think of something to fight back with, but she couldn't. She felt herself shaking, whether it was from the anger, or hurt, or freezing temperatures, she didn't know. "Fine.." She whispered and turned toward the forest path, walking briskly away.

Farkle's eyes widened when he realized what he did. He had always had a filter. This wasn't like him at all. "W-wait! Riley!"

But when he looked back, all he saw were shoe prints in the snow.

 **I know this is probably a big disappointment of a chapter. It's a transition chapter. Big things will happen with all of the characters, they are just trying not to give in with the grief in their hearts. So what's going on? Why do you think Farkle went off like that? Please stay tuned!**

 **Also I just started a new job and I'm in my Fall Semester Finals so I'll try and upload as fast as I can.**

 **Essessency**


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